Welcome to the app for people who’ve tried it all, hated most of it, and still got up to try again.

Bare Minimum Health Club™ is your new HQ for unlearning diet culture, relearning the facts, and building a life that’s actually livable. It’s for slow glow-ups, small wins, sustainable habits, and jokes that land harder than your protein bar.

Whether you’re trying to intentionally lose weight or just take control of your health and wellness — we got you. If tracking calories triggers you, we’ll make that disappear. This app flexes to fit you.

This isn’t another app that tells you to starve and do burpees. This is where you hydrate, journal like a little freak, and take your power back one scroll, one water bottle, one step, one lil jokey joke — and one curse word — at a time.